Letter to Students 6th August 2007

Dear Reader

As I sit with my laptop on my lap (funny that!), it is Sunday night, and we have had a really full on weekend.  I love sharing my days with family and friends, although Han would like me to pull back a little and ‘smell the roses’ a little more! There were terse words expressed in the car on the way home on Friday as Han felt I had lost perspective and had taken him for granted. I apologised immediately, but I do believe that my family is my first priority.  What is your first priority in life?

On Friday night, two women from Otaru came to stay with us as part of our relationship with the Dunedin Otaru Sister City Society.  I am the President of the society, and I invited these women to stay, and we had a big dinner that evening.  Han was still angry with me as he felt that I was working too hard, didn’t have life in perspective, as I said. Supporting his claim was the fact that I had to take two students to the airport on Saturday morning, leaving home at five o’clock in the morning the get them to the airport in time.  I wasn’t confident that I had set the alarm clock correctly, ( as Han wasn’t keen to show me how to do it!) and so I awoke every thirty minutes so I wouldn’t be late and have the students miss the flight. Thankfully, my body clock always wakes me up about 4:00 so I got up at 4:30, and headed off after having a shower.  It was very peaceful at that hour, and I actually was enjoying the ride along the peninsula road till I realized that the car was almost out of petrol.  I was forced to refuel at the BP station which I hate!  The service is so slack, and every time I go there I vow it will be my last!  What is the service like in petrol stations where you live?  Han had said that he wanted me to fill the LP gas bottle, and I knew it would be a hassle, and it was.  They said I had to pick the bottle up after eight o’clock, and when I did, it was a lot more expensive than other petrol stations.  I don’t mind paying extra if the service is good, but there is no service at this service station.  I only went there because it was the first one I came across on my way to the airport, but I have resolved that it will be the last time.  Service, for me, is so important, and I hate when places assume that the customer is stupid and will just accept the sloppy service they deal out to the customer.  What happened to the adage that the customer is always right?  In Japan, they say the customer is God, but that is certainly not the case here!

After dropping the two students off at the airport at that ridiculous time, and making sure that they were settled and able to take the flight, I headed back into town in the fog which had appeared to cover the ground.  On returning home, I made breakfast for Han, and sat in bed and we ate it together. We then got up to face the day, and I followed my weekly ritual of making bread and also vegetable soup for the evening meal.  Jan had his usual soccer game, and I took him in to town, and dropped him off before doing the shopping for my mother.  She is settling in to her council flat, but not that happily so.  She feels cold, and isolated, and I only hope that she regains her strength and feels able to get out and about as she used to do.  Looking after parents is not an easy thing, but as a daughter, it is important that I fulfil my duty to her.  Even though my family has had a difficult row to hoe with my mother, I know that my mother must be respected and acknowledged, even if I don’t agree with her views and actions.  I don’t think that we can ignore her and leave her on the scrap heap as sometimes happens in our society.  My father had great difficulties with my mother, but I know that he would have wanted me to look after her.  Today, Sunday, I spent the afternoon looking through plastic bags full of old clothes which my mother had left for me to sort through, and I discarded much of the old clothing which is no longer of use.  It is a difficult job, and it is my mother’s history, and I feel that it is not my place to do this really, but my mother has asked me to do so, after years of wanting no contact with me.  How are the elderly viewed in your culture? 

Yesterday, after returning home, I continued to make the bread which had been rising, and get ready for the dinner which I would serve for our friends whom I had invited.  That evening, we had an amazing time with our friends, with the fire lit and lots of  wonderful conversation.  Our Japanese friend, Tomiko, has lived in Dunedin for over thirty years with her husband Linden, who is an art historian and a wealth of knowledge on Japanese history and art.  Our other friends are also artists and potters, and they have also visited Otaru, Dunedin’s sister city where our guests are from.  They are so overwhelmingly generous and gave beautiful prints to our guests which I am sure they will treasure.

Today, I awoke feeling a little jaded, but I loved the light rain and the harbour was as still as a millpond. I took Jan into town to pick up a voucher as his sister had offered a free meal at her restaurant Mash for a winner in the Quiz night which is being held this week as a fund raiser for the sporting teams at LoganParkHigh School.  I picked up my computer from school as well, as we had left so quickly on Friday night that I had forgotten it.

Han and I had a one hour nap in the afternoon, a rarity for us, but we were soon up cleaning the garage and I sorting out my mother’s belongings.  After finishing the cleaning, Han played the guitar and I sat with him and listened to the music.  I love such times when we sit in harmony, Han playing guitar and I sitting listening, rocking and singing along.  The space which Han has created as his music room is so special, and I just love the way he has arranged everything in a wonderfully eclectic way. 

This evening, I thought we would go and buy takeaways from the local fish and chip shop for the first time this year as there is a new owner.  However, it was closed which didn’t augur well for the new business!  I therefore made some hamburgers for the family, and had it with some of the left over Korean noodles which I made last night.  We sat around the table last night, enjoying the heat of the fire, and eating good food, and wine while we talked about all manner of things.  I feel that being with family and friends is the ultimate way to spend our days.  Every day is important, and I try so hard to make the most of each day. 

Talking of friends reminds me that yesterday Han and I were invited to the book launch of a friend who had written a book about a family who were conscientious objectors during World War Two.  Our friend is a wonderful artist, and very articulate, and this novel is the culmination of many years of special memories.  The gathering at the Kaikorai Valley College library yesterday was a wonderful celebration of our friend’s life, made all the more poignant because our friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and has not much time to live.  I thought that such a gathering was such a wonderful occasion, and so much better than a funeral in which the most important guest can not take part. If I am able, I would love to have such a celebration before I die.  I would hate there to be a party without me being able to enjoy it too.  Of course, if you believe in an afterlife, you are able to watch from afar, but who really knows what happens after death?  What is your favourite book?

However, enough of such talk as I so believe that we have to live each day to the full with no regrets!  Han gets so angry with me as he thinks I have my work out of balance, and yet I try so hard to have time for my family and friends as well.  I would like to be able to pull back, and not have every waking moment as full as it is, and I am sure that will happen.  My dream is to write my novel one day, as well as a book about my teaching, and a book about Tamer, my special Palestinian “son.”  It will all happen, God willing!  What are your dreams?

As I write, Han is talking with our Japanese guests about children with special needs, and he is passionate about this topic.  His specialty is counselling delinquent adolescents, and he is so clear in his viewpoint.  I think he is a wonderful psychologist, but then I am biased!!  What does your country do with people with special needs?  Are the students with special needs included in classes, mainstreamed as it is called here, or taught in special facilities separate from the schools?

Tomorrow our TESOL course begins, so I must get some sleep. I feel I am sleep deprived, but what is new?   Try and sleep and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Love

Sharron