Letter to Students 4th & 11th November 2007

Dear Reader

It is Sunday night, and I feel I am back into my ritual of writing to you as I watch television. What a relief that the drought has broken! Last Monday, Guy Fawkes night, we had seventeen friends and family sitting round our two tables, enjoying food and then standing on the deck while Han braved the winds to put on a fireworks display for us.  It was hilarious as sky rockets headed north, carried away by the southerly winds, and a couple of rogue fireworks caught Han by surprise and headed off at erratic angles!  I love such evenings, and I don’t find it difficult to cook for so many people.  I think you either enjoy cooking or you don’t.  Do you like cooking? As a teenager, my mother was very ill, and I took over the role of cook in my family.  My father and I were very close, and I don’t remember ever feeling that the increased number of household tasks was such a huge undertaking.  It was just something I had to do, and I did it willingly. Consequently, I never felt that cooking was anything other than enjoyable, and this has continued to the present day.  I am lucky that cooking comes easily to me, and I never use a recipe or taste any of the food before serving it.  There is nothing better than serving dinner and having everyone enjoy the evening.  I don’t like to think that there is any fuss, but I just prepare food in a loving and relaxed way. In fact, that is the way we should do all things in life. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to live?

This past weekend, we have enjoyed working in our garden, and harvesting vegetables to have for dinner.  I love nothing better than going to the garden and picking fresh vegetables for dinner.  Do you have a vegetable garden in your country? 

When you were at high school, did you have a part time job?  Our daughter, Shahan, had applied for a job as waitress at the local Portobello Hotel, and was delighted to hear that she had been chosen for the job on Friday. All our children have worked during their holiday, and they have all told us that it was an important part in their upbringing.  They are wonderfully well rounded adults, or so I believe, although I am no doubt very biased!  However, Han and I believe that our children should work to make money for their tertiary education, and although they can stay at home after their high school studies, they have to be able to stand on their own two feet.  I never received a penny from my parents after finishing high school, and I think it stood me in good stead for my future.  I knew the value of a dollar at an early age, and never took the money I earned for granted.  I worked for a great aunt in a hat shop when I was fifteen years old, and remember the job vividly!  I wonder if that is why I still adore wearing hats.  When did you have your first job?  When are children expected to stand on their own two feet in your country?

I so think I was born out of my time as I so would have loved to have lived one hundred years ago when women wore hats as a matter of course, and dressing up was the norm.  Did you know that Dunedin in the early 1900s had thirteen department stores and was the height of fashion?  Dunedin is still a centre for fashion and design, but you don’t see the same glamour in the streets as you did in the “olden days.” What era do you like best?

It is now time to go to bed, but I want to share with you the letter I wrote last week, but didn’t have a chance to share with you.  Have a very special week, and believe in the power of positive thought!

 4^th November, 2007

I have been remiss in writing to you every Sunday as was my weekly ritual, and feel really bad about it.  I am a creature of habit, and so loved sitting down in front of the television on a Sunday night and writing to you. However, the past few weeks my creativity seems to have left me, and even having returned home from a weekend at Glenorchy, I have snuggled up with Han instead of writing. That happens sometimes.  I have written continuously for seventeen years, and although I love writing every week, the drive to write has diminished the past few weeks. I am so delighted that I now feel back on track, not that there was any real reason why I stopped writing.  Has that ever happened to you?  You would love to write, but for some reason you can’t find the motivation or the time?  I love sitting with my computer and sharing ideas, but for some reason I couldn’t sit with my computer and write over the past few weeks. 

Consequently, I have so much to tell you now. We have visited my daughter and her family in Hawea, and have attended the Portobello Plant fair which we look forward to every year.  We have had wonderful dinners with friends and family, and have spent a lot of time in the garden.  I have begun teaching Japanese at a high school in town, to help out as the teacher has been very ill, and Han and I have had to come to terms with the passing of a dear friend of ours.  Patricia was a teacher, an artist, a writer and a gardener, and appeared at least ten years younger than her seventy seven years.  She radiated such positive energy and her family home reflected her love of life. At her funeral in the paddock opposite the beautiful home in which she had lived all her life, her family and friends gathered to celebrate her life last Thursday.  The family had erected a marquis, and the sun shone as the Quaker community led the family and friends in remembering this special woman.  Han and I felt honored that we had been invited to the book launch of our friend’s record of the life of conscientious objectors in Brighton, south of Dunedin, and at that time our friend had been diagnosed with cancer and was very ill.  However, it was a wonderful celebration of her success and of her life, and we thought at the time that it was wonderful to have such a celebration when she was still alive.  It seems so sad that the biggest celebration of a person’s life is held after a person dies.  The day of the book launch, there was such a gathering of kindred spirits who shared in the celebration with everyone aware that this was the last time that we would all be together before the day of the funeral.

I love the fact that in New Zealand there is the freedom to be ourselves, and this extends to the way in which we want to say goodbye to loved ones.  I was very sorry that my father chose not to have a funeral in the last weeks of his life, but I respect and understand the reason for choosing this.  My father didn’t want his funeral to be a platform for any unexpected dramatic performances, and he chose to cancel the whole show rather than risk an uncomfortable scene.  With hindsight, I feel he made a mistake as I feel it is important for loved ones to have an avenue through which to grieve, but I fully understand why Dad made the decision he did.

However, I do not want to appear maudlin as I write, as my mind is not feeling that way.  I have had a positive weekend, and Han and I have spent a lot of time working in the garden.  Shahan also enjoys helping us, although she would rather listen to music or talk with her friends!  Both of us love walking around the garden, and you can’t appreciate the garden if the structured beds are filled with weeds.

As I write, there are fireworks exploding in the sky.  I love letting off fireworks as my mother hated fireworks and my father had to acquiesce and seldom did we celebrate Guy Fawkes.  Although this evening is criticized as being a celebration of a “terrorist” who tried to blow up the British parliament, I love the night as a time to enjoy the power of fireworks. From the time I met Han, we have celebrated this special evening, although the last five years we have celebrated at our daughter’s home as they are as crazy about this special occasion. However, this year, they are too busy to have a party, and we will celebrate the occasion with our family by having a barbecue and then letting off fireworks when it gets dark.  We don’t have many celebrations in our culture, and although this is a British tradition, I like the fact that we can see the sky light up with fireworks. I love seeing the children’s eyes light up with wonder as we all stand on the deck and watch the pyrotechnics from a safe distance.

I haven’t even told you what I did on Labour weekend, and yet if I don’t tell you soon, it will be Christmas! What did you do at this time?  We had a wonderful weekend in Glenorchy, filled with good food, good wine, and rather erratic golf!  We always go in to Queenstown, and this time we went up the Gondola to see Queenstown from the top of the mountain so that we could show our new “son,” Abilio, what the region looked like.  My eighteen month old grand daughter was terrified by the gondola, and we had to work hard to calm her in the wee bobble.  It is amazing that one so young would be so afraid of height.  I so love getting to know my grandchildren as it such a special new era in my life.  I feel it is easier to die, knowing that we leave a spot of blood or influence on those who have lived with us.

As I write, Han is ironing his shirts as they have piled up for far too long.  I am happy to do the ironing, but Han insists on doing them.  Would men in your country do the ironing?  I used to have to do it when my mother became sick when I was fourteen years of age.  At that time, I did most of the ironing, and all the cooking, and as much as I had to do these chores, I have continued to love cooking.  However, I don’t enjoy ironing, and I am delighted that Han doesn’t mind doing it.

Last night, I went to bed early, hoping to get up at six o’clock so that I could get stuck into the weeding in the garden.  Last week was the Portobello plant fair, and we were there early so that we catch up with a lot of our friends and buy some plants for the garden as we usually do.  However, we didn’t feel like buying plants, and my major purchase was a hand made glass bead necklace which a friend was selling.  It was a bit of an extravagance, but it looks fabulous, and I always think it is important to support talented artisans.

Two weeks ago, we had a birthday party for our teachers, and celebrated with a potluck dinner and lots of nice wine.  For me, it is important to acknowledge these important events, and I love sharing wine and food with my colleagues.  There was also a dinner for colleagues as two of them are returning to Fiji.  We had a Thai meal, but everyone was more interested in talking about their students and their teaching than being aware of the wage they would get.  I really enjoying getting together with colleagues, and we have such a lot in common.

In the next week, I am going to put an advertisement in the newspaper to make others aware of the need for sponsorship for Abilio.  He is such an energetic person and certainly gives Han a run for his money in the field when they are gardening!  Han loves the fact that he is so willing to help, and he makes our own children work harder!!

It is now time to snuggle up with Han in bed, and I hope I have a good night’s sleep.  So often, I have nightmares, and I think it is because my brain will not switch off.  As a child, I used to sleep walk, and I remember my father catching me as I was about to walk out the door!  Do you ever have such crazy dreams?  I trust you are sleeping well, and look forward to seeing you tomorrow!

Love

Sharron