Letter to Students 6th January 2008

Dear Reader

It is Sunday night, and we have had a wonderful two week break.  What have you done these past two weeks?  I so love Christmas, and the special time it brings to families and friends. However, I am also aware of how difficult it is for people who do not have people to share this special time, and we always open up our home to those friends who have no one with whom to spend this precious time. I so love the time we spend before Christmas when we dress the tree and get ready for Christmas day.  I am like a child again when we prepare for that one day in the year that we call Christmas Day.  At this time, memories wash over me as I sit in front of the tree, listen to old Christmas songs, and reminisce over all the Christmases I have had.  What are you reminded of when you think of Christmas?

It is late on Sunday night, and I look forward to being with you this coming week. I have thought so often of writing to you, and many thoughts have flowed through my brain, wishing that I had my computer with me so that I could share with you the thoughts that came to me at the time.  I used to keep a diary, but when I had two years of writing stolen in India, I found it difficult to sit down and write on paper again.  Thoughts flow more freely for me if I use a keyboard, and since I am a touch typist, it is much quicker for me that way.  When I was in my last year of high school, I spent a year in the United States on a scholarship, and although I didn’t find the school work very challenging academically, I certainly appreciated the typing classes, and all I learnt socially.  I truly believe that schools should provide students with a holistically sound curriculum so that well rounded individual are released into society.  What do you think makes for the perfect learning environment?  I try to create this at our school, but there is always room for improvement!

As I said, before I digressed as is my custom, I so wish I had kept a weekly diary of my holiday.  The reason for this is that I so easily forget what I have done, although at the time, each moment was so important.  Of course, the highlight of these past two weeks was the time that Han and I have spent with our children.  After our wonderful Christmas party at school on that last Friday, when not only did we enjoy the fruits of Han’s labours  through eating his freshly picked and freshly dug vegetables, but we also enjoyed the our first Asian Santa and “Happy as Larry,” the magician, I walked around the school and felt truly blessed.  I was actually as happy as Larry! Do you know what that means?  I think Larry in this situation comes from the word larrikin, so this should give you a clue! On Friday, I was on a natural high, and later in the afternoon I joined Han at a bar in St Clair where we celebrated the ending of work with good friends.  We had told our children that we would be home quite late, but hadn’t thought to phone them as we got carried away with the mood of the evening.  As we walked into our home, Shahan was waiting for us at the top of our stairs, and she told us off for not having phoned us to say we would be late.  She reminded us how easy it was for us to pick up the phone, and told us how worried she had been.  We felt the role reversal, and apologised immediately.  In hindsight, it was a lovely beginning to our two week holiday, knowing that we were truly loved and cared for.

The week leading up to Christmas was filled with shopping, cooking, and doing the garden.  Han helped rotary hoe our daughter’s garden as her natural mother was coming from her home in Australia to stay for a few days over Christmas, and Han was happy to support the family in making sure everything was ready for her arrival.  I find it hard to understand why a mother would choose to live away from her family when they have all returned to the place where she had been living, but it is probably just as well we are not all the same.  For me, having the family around me is the ultimate pleasure, but I also understand that parents and their adult children have to make their own decision as to where they choose to live, and I don’t think it is sensible for parents to go following our children’s dreams.  Do you think that parents should follow their children, or children should be expected to live with their parents when they get married?  Han and I decided to make our base in Portobello, and if any of the children chose to live near us, we would be delighted.  We are ecstatic that five of the seven children live in Dunedin, and that our third daughter is only three hours away.  Only our second, Marcus, has settled in England and has just secured an amazing head chef’s position working in an exclusive hotel in Mayfair, London. 

Although Suny, my first natural daughter from my Japanese partner, was unable to be with us on Christmas Day, all the family had made arrangements so that they could visit Suny, Nathan and Indi, my twenty month old granddaughter, in the week after that special day.  Only Shahan, our youngest daughter, couldn’t make it up to Hawea as she had a waitressing job at the local Portobello Hotel, but it was great to meet all the other children and their families at the rented farm cottage our oldest daughter had found, and enjoy each other’s company in the countryside.  

On Christmas Eve, our second daughter, Nicky, invited us round to her home in Harwood, just five minutes away from us by car, for a barbecue, and we sat around their big open fire outside which is a big pit in which they burn big logs.  This kind of fire is technically illegal, and would be impossible for us to have in a residential area, but people in Harwood are more a law unto themselves, and no one would complain to the council about a fire.  Thank goodness some people are sensible!!  This community does not enjoy the sewage and water services of the city, and residents have to rely on septic tanks and rain water, and the lack of services is thankfully reflected in their rates.  Nicky loves the rain, and it is interesting how your perspective on things change as your circumstances change.  Do you like the rain?  I love it when I am in the tropics, and you can sit on your verandah in the afternoon and watch the heavy rain splash on the roads, and cool the air.  The smell of such rain is very special, and you can sense the plants enjoying their drink, and showing their appreciation in their lush foliage.  However, so often in Dunedin, the rain heralds a southerly change, and we receive an unwelcome blast of cold air from the Antarctic!!

As I write, I am watching television, and Han has just fallen asleep beside me.  He has been busy in the garden, and it is such a credit to him. We have a saying that where there is a will there is a way, and Han was determined to move the heavy sun dial which had found itself in the shade as the branches of the trees shielded the sun’s rays, preventing anyone being able to read the time.  It would have been cruel to cut the limbs of these glorious trees, so moving the limestone sun dial was the only option.  After a night’s thought, Han devised a way to move this heavy structure, and with a bit of help from Jan and me, Han achieved his goal of moving the cumbersome structure across the lawn to its new position in the sun.  Now unobstructed, the sun dial proudly stands on its new lawn, and we celebrated its new home with a bottle of wine as we sat on the verandah of the cottage. Beer and wine taste all the sweeter when you have worked hard.

What is your most vivid memory of Christmas Day?  Mine would have to be Han dressing up as Santa Claus twice on the same day, and watching the entranced faces of all the grand children as they rejoiced in the arrival of Father Christmas.  Han really got into the role, and he was so convincing that many people would not have recognised him as being my Dutch husband!  He said that it was amazing how many people yelled out to him, or came out of their houses to greet him as he walked down the street.  The weather was fabulous for us, and we even ate our Christmas dinner outside on the deck for the first time ever.  We have never experienced a white Christmas in Dunedin since I was born, but there have been days that have been very cold!  Later on Christmas day, the weather did cool down and when all the children arrived after having visited other relatives, we all retreated to the cottage where we lit the fire, and continued to enjoy what is for me the most precious day of the year.  On talking with one of our teachers, he said that he really wasn’t really into Christmas in any big sense. He loves watching his son get excited about Santa’s arrival, but it doesn’t really mean a huge amount to him. He senses the stress it evokes in people, and hates the materialistic, commercial side of Christmas. However, unlike many people, Christmas is a time when I totally relax, and don’t worry about cooking.  Certainly, I do still cook, but I don’t feel any pressure.  I am always cooking for great numbers, but I find the Christmas menu a less complicated and less time consuming menu than I usually cook, so I have more time out of the sink. I also love buying presents for the family, and this year I had bought all the presents early, having found some beautiful paintings for the children in Christchurch when I was last up there.  I was delighted when the gifts were well received, as it is always tricky choosing gifts for adult children. For this one day, I just let the hours flow, and enjoy the ambience of the house with my nearest and dearest around me.

I visited my mother on the day before Christmas, but my mother has never really enjoyed Christmas, and this year was no exception.  Although invited to share Christmas with my sister, she preferred to spend it on her own, and we have to respect her wishes.  Mum never liked to celebrate important events when we were young, and preferred to take us to a restaurant for our birthdays rather than allow us to have a party at home.  I always felt a little cheated as I so wanted to have a party like my other friends did.  However, I knew we had little money, and appreciated the fact that my parents went to the effort of going out for us.  We always went to the same restaurant, and I always ordered Wiener Schnitzel followed by amazing pancakes, maple syrup and cream.  The pancakes were more like crepes, and I have never tasted any others that came anywhere near that wonderful flavour and texture!  Isn’t it funny how we can recall tastes from our childhood?  I remember the mint sauce which my grandmother served with the roast lamb for Sunday lunch, and I loved it.  I also loved the cut flowers my grandmother had in big vases and which my mother detested.  Mum always thought that cut flowers were a sign the flowers had had their heads chopped off, and refused to have flowers in vases in the house. How different I am from my mother!  However, when people met my father, they always said I was a chip off the old block, which I generally liked to hear!  Like all of us, he had his warts, but I liked it when I was likened to my father.  He was very hardworking, sociable and always immaculately dressed.  Even in the last month before he died, he insisted on being dressed and shaved so that he looked the best he could.  He always said you had to “show a clean pair of heels,” and it is interesting that Han always makes sure his shoes are clean.  Dad used to always clean my shoes, so I was very spoilt by him when I was growing up.  We always played cricket together after school, and I give him full credit for my being selected for the Otago Women’s cricket team when I was only thirteen years old.  Dad was as proud as I was!!

At this time of year, I always reflect on my life and make resolutions for the year ahead.  .  Do you make resolutions?  This year, I have decided to make aspirations, and there are certain things I have noted in my diary. You are supposed to keep your resolutions private, so I have written them in the front of my diary. My son, Jan, said that he has decided to have daily resolutions, advice given to him by his oldest brother while away on holiday, and he has certainly begun the year well.  Long may his resolutions last!  Setting goals is very important in one’s life, but we mustn’t lose sight of the fact we are human, and sometimes following the vagaries of life leads us on interesting journeys. 

Just before closing, I just remember that I finally managed to have my first kayak ride in two years.  Han is terrified of kayaking as he nearly drowned twice in a sea kayak.  He was tipped upside down, and his “child bearing hips,” as he calls them, prevented him from wriggling out of the kayak.  He was caught under water to the point where he saw bright lights, and felt warm and secure.  Han says he remembers vividly wanting to punch the lights out of the man who resuscitated him!!  For this reason, kayaking is never high on the agenda when we are on holiday, but when the water was so calm the other day, I decided it was time to take the plunge! Taking the plunge is another interesting idiom, and do you know what it means?  Jan and I went out in the kayak, but Han also had a change of heart, and took the plunge, ending up kayaking out into the middle of the harbour.  It was at this time that Han phoned our friend who lives in the next bay, and he met us on the shore and escorted up the steep path to his home.  We sat on the lawn overlooking the harbour, and had a glass of Lindauer and a piece of Christmas cake before kayaking home.  It was such a special way to end the holiday, and it was one time when I felt totally relaxed.  I want to do that more this year, and that is a resolution I am not keeping secret!!

Han is now off to bed, so I will go and snuggle up with him.  I hope this year brings you all you wish for, and all you aspire to be!

Love

Sharron