Letter to Students 13 March 2008

Dear Reader

Do you ever find that there are not enough hours in the day, and that you don’t get round to doing all the things you want to do?  That has been me this week.  I had every intention of writing on Monday, but the days have just flown by.  I knew that Sunday was not going to be the day I wrote as we had all the children, partners and their children round for a big dinner for Shahan’s seventeenth birthday, seventeen people! Han and I so vividly remember the birth of our first child together, a homebirth which was perfect in every way. I had worked up till the day before Shahan came into the world, and I felt so in control of the whole birth process, until this little baby was left with us after the midwife and doctor returned to town!!  We had prepared home made bread, had a hot spa for me to hop into when the pain kicked in, and a wonderfully sunny day. The arrival of Shahan was even captured on video, but seeing this wee bundle of our making in our arms sent us into a sudden panic when we saw our support about to leave. Luckily, the midwife’s stern words of “put her to bed,” were enough to ground us, and put her to bed!  That evening was so special, and we have had many magical evenings.

Shahan’s birthday party was such a memorable night, and although I put a lot of energy into cooking, it was worth every minute of it. Shahan’s arrival seventeen years ago was the glue which bound our family.  Our blended family became all the stronger the day Shahan arrived, and this bundle of fun always made us laugh.  As a toddler, she would sit at the dining table and entertain us with her quick speech.  I vividly recall her fine blonde hair, rosy cheeks, and hand made jerseys which were made from scraps of wool by her adopted grandmother.  This grandmother, Erma, had never had her own children, but Shahan became her child as soon as we placed Shahan in her arms when she was just a day old.  We had so many happy times with Erma at our table, and I cried so hard when she died an untimely death, having moved away from us. However, that is another story!  There is nothing better than sitting round the table with family and friends.  We were doubly blessed in the weekend as we were able to enjoy the company of close friends on Saturday night as well.  I telephoned our friends who live nearby on the spur of the moment, and they were delighted to take up the invitation because they had been busy painting their house all day.  I threw a quick dinner together with lots of vegetables from the garden, and they also brought salad and smoked fish to share.  We talked till late into the night, and I never take such evenings for granted. Don’t you think that meeting up with friends is one of the most enjoyable activities in the world?

Can you remember how glorious the weather was last Saturday?  It was in such contrast to the stormy weather we endured the week before, and as we walked around our garden with our friends, I felt sorry that my friends from the Dunedin Otaru Sister City Society couldn’t have enjoyed this time.  However, sitting in front of a roaring fire was still a pleasant experience, and we can arrange for them to come back out, perhaps in spring when the cherry trees are in blossom.  What is your favourite season?  I really love spring with its promise of rebirth and new growth, and of course spring is the season about to be enjoyed in the northern hemisphere. It was in the time of celebrating spring that Easter came about.  Apparently, the pagans celebrated the coming of spring with a festival called Oestre when they hid eggs and paid particular attention to rabbits. Both rabbits and eggs are signs of fertility, and it is fascinating how we have taken these symbols and woven them into our Easter celebrations.  The crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, the story written in the Bible to commemorate not only Jesus’s death but also to celebrate his ultimate coming back to earth, is a wonderful illustration of the power of rebirth, of good overcoming evil, and of the power of positive energy.  The Easter hot cross buns we eat are in the shape of the stone that was rolled from Jesus’s tomb, the cross on the buns is a  sign of the cross on which Jesus died, but these buns were also eaten by the pagans as part of a celebration feast. How do I know this?  I don’t, but it makes a wonderful analogy linking pagan and Christian rituals!  Even the name of Easter is derived from the pagan word Oestre!  I love such links which bind us to our past.  Do you believe in Christianity?  I see myself as a believer in God, of a superior energy which guides us all, no matter what belief system we have.  For me, the Ten Commandments are to be obeyed, and the ultimate duty is for us to love each as we wish to be loved.  If one remembers this, how can there be any war and any conflict? 

This week, my belief in the good of man was tested by someone who went behind my back and did not confront me over something I had done wrong.  We all make mistakes, and I am always the first to put my hand up and say sorry if I have done something wrong.  However, sometimes we are unaware that we have done anything wrong, and sometimes others do things which implicate us, often unbeknownst to them as well.  In such times, when I see that someone has made a mistake, I confront them immediately so that we are “all on the same page,” as the cliché goes.  Being open, honest and transparent are the tenets by which I live, and if someone goes behind my back, I feel affronted as it is not my way.  If someone has a problem with me, I hope that they will tell me, and I know that my staff is able to talk with me if there is something which upsets them.  My door is always open for them, and although there may be difficult conversations at times, we resolve the issue, hug, and carry on with our business.  It is clean and simple.  Why is it that in our society, we have people who cannot face others and tell them how they are feeling?  It is either because they are weak, or because they have ill intent in mind.  Weakness I can forgive, but dishonesty mixed with venom I can not.  I was deeply hurt this week to the point of tears because I was stabbed in the back by someone who was too gutless to put a name to their insidious accusations which accompanied their discovery of an innocent mistake that had been made.  Thankfully, I believe in a higher power, and I truly believe that this person will receive their just deserts.  It may not be this week, but it will truly happen.  I will not be happy, as I am never happy if someone suffers in some way, but I will feel that the world has an inner justice and justice has been done.  As I write, I wonder if this person will ever read these words, and if they do, I wonder what they are thinking.  Have you ever felt stabbed in the back? How did you feel, and what did you do?  I am lucky that I have the love of friends and family, and also the ability to vent my thoughts through words.  I will not criticize anyone openly through my words, as I do not believe that words should be used to harm another.  However, I enjoy expressing myself through words, allowing the thoughts to be carried from me and be placed in another realm where they can rest and not hurt me any more.  It is cathartic, and even now, I feel more at peace having written to you my thoughts.  I hope you don’t mind my self indulgence!

Having cleared my mind, I think I will go and cook dinner.  It is getting late, and I have some smoked chicken which I will cook with some of the vegetables from the garden.  Han had a really good crop of garlic, and I use it in every meal.  We believe in the power of garlic to ward off illness, and ‘so far, so good’!! Do you eat a lot of garlic?

Have a great weekend, and I look forward to talking with you soon.

Love

Sharron