Letter to Students 25 July 2008

Dear Reader

Life is one continuing learning experience, and travelling with someone who is of another culture, and ten years my senior, brings accelerated understanding of not only the other person, but theother culture. Misunderstandings can happen with people of the same culture, but often it is ignorance which creates misunderstandings between people of different cultures.  Such an example happened this evening between my dear Japanese companion, Ayako, and me. This was the first and only time in my thirty years of being with Japanese people that I have misunderstood what someone has said in Japanese because I didn't understand the inference. Ayako said this morning that she was "meeting someone at 5:30" and then she talked about my bringing back some soba to the hotel for dinner, and bread for us for breakfast. We joke about our "kechi kechi tabi," our frugal trip, and it reminds me of my life in my teens, twenties and thirties when I saved hard to be able to travel but had little money for food! On this particular occasion, I dropped into a small supermarket on my way back from an amazing meeeting with a like minded person, (whom I will tell you about soon,) buying two takeaway soba meals, expecting Ayako to join me later for dinner, and buying some bread as suggested for breakfast. It was two hours later that Ayako arrived back at the hotel, full of the joy of meeting her friend and colleague and describing the beautiful Kyoto meal she had enjoyed.  It was wonderful to see her so animated, but I was surprised I didn't know that she was goinng to be out for dinner. However, Ayako said that when she said she was "meeting someone," the inference was that it would be for dinner as it was 5:30. Because she thought I understood, she suggested I buy soba for a light dinner as she had treated the first lunch in Kyoto and we were full after the western meal we had eaten in the hotel in which we were staying. She suggested the bread as she thought it was a good quick breakfast before heading out the next morning. I can remember feeling frustrated this morning as I couldn't tell what was happening, and it was only after considerable conversation that it actually became clear.  When one is ignorant of a situation, one can become angry or upset that there is a period of time during the day when you feel kept in thedark.  At that time you feel tense and it  is only on emerging int  the light does the frustration lift, but sometimes anger emerges before reason settles the situation.  I was not so much angry as upset that I had wasted time and effort buying food when I would have preferred to have explored the surrounding area a little more, and had a meal  in a small local place near the hotel. I may even have shared a beer with someone, and done some marketing!  I felt I had wasted the chance to do so.. You can see how cultural differences create rifts, although I made sure there wasn't any tension in this exchange. I explained how I had misunderstood because, in my culture, we would always explain clearly what was happening if we met someone at 5:30. It doesn't imply a meal if one meets someone so early in the evening! However, the misunderstanding and consequent understanding reinforces that one never stops learning. How would you have interpreted what Ayako had said?

Arriving at the new station in Kyoto, having been there late May with Han, I again marvelled at the state of the art structure which is in such contrast to the traditional Japan which lies within the Kanto area. There was debate over whether a modern building was appropriate for the city which houses so many of Japan's traditional treasures, but the modern city of Kyoto looks like any other big modern city, and the new station reflects theh modernity which is now a ffact of life in the post war Japan. Japan's emergence as a great power in the 1980s brought with it the massive destruction of the old Japan which I so love, and which so captivated the minds and hearts of many in the west.  America's defeat of Japan after World War 2 certainly brought with it the anihilation of much of the Japanese society which had bound its people for so long.  The society is now paying for its rapid progress in the disintegration of many families as the parents spend long hours working for the money which is often  recklessly spent by the children who take this effort for granted.  Those precious times of sitting round the table with the extended family are now not experienced by many of Japan's youth, replaced instead by fast food taken out of the microwave as they sit alone before returning to hours of study.  Free time is spent with friends in shopping malls, squandering the hard earned money on hair dye and the latest fashion.  Older generations have always bemoaned the apparent delinquency of its youth, but the random attacks and maternal and paternal killings by disfunctional young people is a sign of an illness which is afflicting a part of the society as never before. 

However, I do not want to focus on the negative as there so much to be positive about in Japan.  We had arrived at the hotel in Kyoto, called the Garden Palace Hotel, by taxi, following a straight road in a brand new Honda which had the latest GPS.  By phoning the hotel number, the driver was able to pinpoint the address on the GPS. What changes this very old taxi driver must have seen in his life! On our first afternoon, I left Ayako to have a much needed rest from the heat, and headed out to explore the green area which our hotel room overlooked, called Gosho, the former Imperial garden which is now a park enjoyed by those who jog, read, and walk their dogs.. The walled palace is only open once a year, but the surrounding park is entered by various gates, and I escaped the fierce heat by walking under the trees, on dried leaves and pine cones. I didn't see the "do not walk on the grass" signs till the following day!  By cutting through the trees, I avoided the wide gravel roads which intersected the park and were used by bicycles. I didn't have a hat, and could feel the intense heat of 40 degrees sap the energy as I walked.  However, I was determined to find a temple and give thanks for all I had.  Walking past a small white building, I saw a handwritten sign which said "new and used foreign books," and climbed the narrow stairs to the second floor, in New Zealand the first floor, to enter a small shop with airconditioning, a welcome relief from the intense heat. I skimmed over the titles of the books, looking for an interesting Japanese book in English before beinng greeted by the young woman who stood behind the counter at the back left hand corner of the shop.  At first we spoke in Japanese, but I soon realised that she had lived in America, and Costa Rica where she learnt Spanish, and we continued the conversation in English.   Yuko is a well travelled woman in her early thirties who gave up a good job working for a company as their quality control person in India.  The company made kimono in India, and she used her English on a daily basis.  Like me, she gave up the security of the job to fulfil the dream of having her own business, in this case a shop where she not only sells books but teaches yoga, English, and invites others to come and give workshops on different aspects of holistic health.  After four years, she has paid back the loan she took out, and has eight volunteers who gladly give their time to be part of her dream.  I talked about the first book I had been given in the first year of opening the school, the E Myth by Gerber, and she had also read it.  When I said that I was also impresssed by the strength of Anita Roderick, the founder of the Body Shop, Yuko also said that she had read her books.  After buying a Japanese dictionary, I promised to return with one of the school's brochures as Yuko said she had some students who asked her about good places to study.  Before walking back to the hotel, I continued on my walk to find a temple at which to pray.  Because I was short of time, I found a big temple with the usual big steps up which pilgrims struggle, and knowing that it had already closed, I chose to pray before a small bronze statue of a female god at the bottom of the stairs.  I couldn't read who she was, but she had a kind face and held out her hands to me. After thanking God for the day, the chance meeting and my family and friends, I popped in to a supermarket for the unnecessary soba, (you can tell I still need counselling!) and then walked back in the diminishing heat to the hotel.  Thankfully, the heat was goiing out of the sun as I made my way back through the park, and I noticed lots of women gathering with their dogs, obviously meeting as part of a daily dog walking ritual.  Yuko had a friend with her when I returned, and although I wanted to invite them for a drink, they said they were too busy so we chatted in the shop.  There was so much to talk about, and I showed  my photos of my family, home and teachers as is my ritual these days!  Not a day goes by when I don't look at my photos and give thanks for my blessings.

Although I was interested in coming on this trip with Ayako, and sharing her last trip to Japan before returning here as a permanent resident, I have found it particularly difficult to be away from the family.  I think of them continually, and even when enjoying time with people, I wish that they were here to share the special time.  I never take my special family and home for granted.

I will finish here, hoping the storms that are ravaging the North Island of New Zealand do not reach you!  We had an earthquake when we were in Tokyo, measuring only 3 on the Richter scale, but causing damage further north.  Sudden floods in rivers caused by  torrential rain have also taken the lives of people enjoying their holidays by rivers, escaping the summer heat.  A cruel twist of fate to die in water escaping the heat!  Keep yourself safe.

Love

Sharron