Letter to Students 19 November 2008

Dear Reader

It is Wednesday night, and I am sitting writing to you as Han irons some of his many shirts.  It is not a common occurrence, as is attested to by the fact that Han has thirty shirts waiting to be ironed! As a dutiful wife, I should iron Han’s shirts, but it is the only task I do not enjoy doing. I think it is because when I was a teenager, I had to iron all of the washing when it came off the clothesline, and it seemed to go forever.  I didn’t mind having to cook when my mother became very ill, but I hated the ironing.  Doing the ironing takes me back to that difficult time, and perhaps I need counseling to overcome my hatred of it.  Actually, it is cheaper to abstain from ironing rather than go to counseling!  The only time I wouldn’t mind it would be if I had nothing else to do, but when would that ever be?  Do you like ironing?  Are there any other household chores you don’t enjoy? 

As I write, my nose is dripping like a tap without a washer!  I don’t get many colds, but I had a very bad sleep last night, and awoke with a running nose.  I have sneezed all day, and my nose is red raw.  I feel so ugly when I have a cold as I rub off all my makeup, and my nose looks like a big, red beacon!  I have inherited my mother’s long nose, unfortunately!  I have been told I look like both my mother and father, although I believe I take after my father in personality.  He was very outgoing, and loved meeting people from other cultures.  He loved going to parties, although he never drank alcohol until the day of his first great grandchild’s birth, and he had his first sip of champagne.  He asked how we could drink such dry tasting liquid, but he finished his glass, and seemed happy to have tried it.  He died six months later, but died knowing that he had left a good legacy of children and grandchildren.  Having worked hard all his life, he was sorry he didn’t have much property to leave my sister and me, but we didn’t care.  We felt so lucky to have had such a wonderful father who supported us at every turn.  Dad came to every game I played, and he was so proud that I had achieved my dream of setting up my own school.  I have vivid memories of Dad sitting in the lounge with paper scattered all around him as his did his invoicing in front of the television.  He always had me on for working too hard, a trait I inherited from him!  However, through hard work I have achieved my dream which could not be said for Dad. Unfortunately, he died not having achieved all his dreams, and I was sorry he didn’t die in peace as I had seen people leave this life in the movies.  However, I was with him till the very end, and feel very privileged to have shared his final moments with my sister.  My sister and I look alike, although we are different in personality, my sister taking after my mother in personality, preferring a more private life.

Han has now put the ironing away, and is sitting beside me to watch a replay of the international rugby game in Ireland between Munster and the All Blacks.  In 1970, the Munster team beat the All Blacks, and they narrowly missed beating them again today.  There are two former All Blacks in the Munster team, and this is the first time ever that an opposing team has done the haka against the All Blacks before a game.  It was just the four Kiwi players in the team who did the haka, but it was an amazing scene of passion.  The crowd was silent for the All Black haka, although they cheered for their Munster Kiwis when they did their challenge.  The Irish love to sing and I would have loved to have been in the stadium, surrounded by such singing.  I love rugby, as do many Kiwis, although in Britain it is seen as an upper class sport.  Talking to an Englishman the other day, he said that cricket is also seen as a sport for the upper class, so most people do not follow it.  However, people from a wide range of backgrounds play cricket in New Zealand.  I was brought up in a working class background, but I really loved cricket from an early age.  My father hoped that I would play cricket for New Zealand, and although I played for Otago from the age of thirteen, I gave up that sporting path in exchange for working so that I could go to university, and travel in my university holidays.  I had itchy feet from an early age!

            Wasn’t Saturday an amazingly hot day?  I love the heat, and loved sitting in the shade of our golden elm, eating an ice block with my grandchildren. Later, I sat on the verandah with Han, and shared a bottle of wine as we looked over our garden.  There is a saying that “mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun,” and my Dutch husband must be a mad dog as he did the lawn mowing in the height of the sun’s heat.  He suffered for it later when he collapsed on the bed after dinner, and couldn’t join Shahan, Jan and me for a beautiful evening walk around the water’s edge.

On Friday evening, we had been invited to the home of our Polish friends as mutual Bulgarian friends had come down from Auckland, and we hadn’t seen them in many years.  It was a wonderful opportunity to catch up, and they looked exactly the same.  I am sure that I had aged, as I know I have more “experience lines” on my face!  I love the saying that a stone has no wrinkles!  What do you think this means?

            As I write, I am watching the rugby ball about to be kicked, and it is amazing to watch a crowd who becomes absolutely quiet with respect when a goal is attempted.  Even when the All Blacks attempted to kick, they were respectfully silent, and even applauded when the ball was sent over the goal posts by the opposition.  Such wonderful sportsmanship is seldom seen these days.

            After catching up with our friends on Friday night, I was encouraged by our Polish friends to go to church the following day in BroadBay.  The small Catholic church overlooking the bay is the religious base of the Polish community.  Sixty years ago, the Poles who lived in Dunedin had this wooden church, which had been built and used for worship in Waihola, transported all the way to BroadBay.  What a feat of logistics and faith that must have been in those days.  Han used to be a practicing Catholic, but he calls himself a “lapsed” Catholic now, and prefers to reflect and pray in his garden.  He fails to see the positive energy that was used to transport the church evident in the religion which is preached in sermons. The religion is based on guilt, and Han sees this as a very negative force, as I do too. However, unlike Han, I enjoy sitting in the little church, and giving myself time for personal reflection.  The priest had an interesting sermon, although the reading he chose was one with which I didn’t agree.  It was the story of the master who had three servants, to whom he gave talents which were great amounts of money in those days.  One man received five talents, one man received two talents, and the last slave received one talent.  The first two men managed to double the number of talents, and they were richly rewarded by their master.  The last slave said that he had been afraid of his master, and he had consequently buried the talent in the ground so that he would not lose it and upset the master.  The master said he was so disappointed that his slave didn’t even put the talent in a bank to receive interest that he sent this poor fellow to the dungeons where he was tortured.  How cruel is that?  I couldn’t understand how this was seen as a good thing in the Bible.  The priest said that he also had difficulty with this parable, but thought that it reflected a different time when masters and slavery were a way of life.  He interpreted the giving of talents as the giving of opportunities to us all, and the importance of utilizing these.  I find it difficult to understand many of the Biblical stories, and there was another reading which was a little difficult to swallow.  It was the reading which described a good wife as being someone who worked hard for her husband and family that would raise the hackles of feminists.  However, I believe that both men and women should work hard in a relationship, but for there only to be mention of the wife working hard for the family is unfair.

            After the service, at which time the church bell was consecrated under its newly built bell tower, Han and I were invited to our friends’ home as they live opposite the church and help to look after this special place.  Peter and Jeannie are two of our closest friends, and although we only met them about eight years ago, we feel like we have known them all our lives.  Jeannie had invited an old classmate, and the classmate’s elderly mother who looked none of her eighty years.  She wore her glossy thick hair up, and her mind was as sharp as a tack. Unfortunately, as she has aged, she has become more racist and bigoted, but I failed to let her ignorance affect me, preferring to enjoy the ambience of the rest of the wonderful company.  Peter and Jeannie’s house looks out over the lawn to the Otago harbour, and we sat on the verandah and had a delicious lunch. It was an afternoon of relaxation, and later in the day after returning home, we were walking through our garden when another neighbour invited us over for a drink on their deck.  At that time, I thought how relaxing it was when the weather was warm and were able to sit outside and chat.  Like Saturday, the fabulous weather gave us the opportunity to imagine we lived in Europe, enjoying alfresco dining and not worrying about the woes of the world.   On Saturday, we had had dinner on our deck under the umbrella with our grandchildren, and poor wee Ella hated walking on the hot decking.  The tender soles of her feet weren’t used to the heat of the sun on the black rubber flooring!

            This week is examination week for all New Zealand high school students, and Jan and Shahan are in the middle of their exams.  Jan just had a call from his Economics teacher asking how he found the exam, and asking if he would play cricket on Saturday.  This teacher is incredibly dedicated, shown by the fact that he spent all Sunday going to the homes of twenty two of his students to deliver pre-examination notes.  Since we were the house furthest from Dunedin, being twenty kilometres away, he left our home till last, and we invited him to sit on the verandah of the cottage and have a drink.  He accepted, saying his in-laws were visiting, and it was good to have some time out!  Living out in Portobello means I have a lot of driving to do with the children and their commitments, but it is worth it.  On Saturday, I had to go in to town for the second time, late in the afternoon, to pick Shahan up from work and Jan from his cricket match.  Jan really prefers to focus on his basketball, but as the season comes to an end, he is helping the cricket team out as they are short of players.  I love the game, and lent Jan the cricket bat I had bought after Dad had died.  Dad had bought me a good bat when I was a teenager, but it had gone missing over time, and I always regretted losing it.  I promised Dad that I would buy another one, and on one day when I was really missing Dad, I went into a shop and bought a good bat.  It stood in my office for over a year till it was used for the first time on Friday when the students from our school went out with Arran to play, and then for the second time when Jan played on Saturday.  He made five runs not out, so that was a good start!

Shahan has had a tough year, and is not enjoying these examinations which show up the fact that she hasn’t studied enough!  However, she is very positive about her big OE adventure in China early December, and although Han is really stressed over it, I feel she is doing the right thing.  She is following in her mother’s footsteps in her love of travel and other cultures, and she actually takes after me in more ways than one.

The rugby game is now over, and the All Blacks won the game against the Munster side, but only by the skin of their teeth.  What a wonderful game it was.  The crowd was so respectful, but passionate, and there was no love lost in the front row of the scrum, resulting in a punch up at one stage near the end of the game.  You need to be able to express yourself!

I am feeling very contented as I write to you as I reflect on the past few weeks.  Our NZQA audit went really well, and Karina was a real champion.  She deserves full credit for the 100% compliance we received.  We await the final outcome of the audit, but we are hoping for the best as everything was in order. It was a nerve wracking ordeal, and I am so pleased the dark cloud which loomed over us for so many months has cleared.  Having one’s total operating systems being scrutinized is an enormous undertaking for both us and the auditor.  The auditor was very professional and understanding of our unique school which meant he didn’t place us in the same pigeon holes as other schools.  All is well which ends well!!

Han is now asking for some supper, so as a good hardworking wife, I shall make him some.  I have enjoyed sitting here writing to you, and look forward to hearing from you as well.  We are going to buy a big Christmas tree this weekend, two weeks earlier than usual, as we want to decorate it before Shahan goes to China.  Christmas is so special for us and this will be the first Christmas Shahan will miss.  I know how hard it is to be away from your family at this special time of year, and no doubt she will feel very homesick.  It will be a milestone in her life, I am sure, but one which will stand her in good stead.  Sometimes we have to endure such hardship to grow mentally and spiritually.  I sound very Catholic, and I am not!  I am Presbyterian, my ancestors being followers of the Church of Scotland as many of the early settlers to Dunedin were.

I must not procrastinate, but go and prepare some food for my husband. I actually enjoy being a dutiful wife, seriously!!

Have a great ending to your week, and an equally fabulous weekend.

Love

Sharron