Letter to Students 03 January 2009

Dear Reader

It has only been just over two weeks since I last spent time with students and staff at school, but it feels like a long time in some ways.  I haven’t sat down to talk with you, and I find words do not flow as easily as the wine on New Year’s Eve.  What did you do on New Year’s Eve?  I find it fascinating that we celebrate the beginning of the New Year by having a big party leading up to the striking of midnight, but have no special customs on the first day of the New Year. When I was a child, some people used to go “first footing,” and tradition had it that you had to visit friends and family and present them with a piece of coal.  We didn’t go to anyone’s house in the morning, but an old Dutch friend came to our home for lunch.  It was a glorious day, and we sat out on the deck under our sun umbrella, and ate vegetable soup with the vegetables from Han’s garden.  I always love cooking, but when I am on holiday, I have more time, and find I so enjoy not having to live by any strict schedule which seems to rule my life during the school year.  I have been reading some books which encourage us to slow down, “smell the flowers,” and simplify life. 

At this time of year, I am always very contemplative as I think about my life, where I am now, and what has brought me to this point. 

As I write, Han and I are watching Robyn Williams in Good morning Vietnam, an amazing film set at the time of the Vietnam War.  It was his debut into film, and he was truly remarkable.  The script is witty, full of emotion, and hard hitting.  The scenery is beautiful, and the scenes dramatic. The injustices committed in the name of war are incomprehensible to me. What makes a country turn on another and kill innocent civilians? It is, consequently, so hard to write when my senses are bombarded in many ways. 

What senses have you had stirred over the past two weeks?  I have been filled with joy as I have spent time with family and friends.  Today was the culmination of this special melding of moments.  Tomorrow is Han’s and my seventeenth wedding anniversary, and today was the only day we truly had as a couple together without others being around.  We said goodbye to Han’s mother yesterday, after initially coming down from Christchurch for one week, but staying for six weeks.  There are many mother-in-law jokes, and it is a challenge living with a conservative, parochial old lady.  Her narrow world view makes one bite one’s tongue, although my fifteen year old son displayed his juvenile honesty, and gave his grandmother a really hard time.  However, Jan can do no wrong in my mother in law’s eyes, and he would get away with murder! No matter how difficult the relationship, it is important for children to know their grandparents so that they understand where they come from.  When Jan learnt that his “oma,” (the Dutch word for grandmother) left school at thirteen years of age, her narrow minded views made a lot more sense to him.  Brought up in a peasant, Catholic rural area, life was a simple routine, dictated by the edicts of the Catholic Church and her parents.  There was no questioning of why we were here, or why we should do the things that were asked of us.  How different this is from the way Jan lives his life!

What were the highlights of your last two weeks?  Mine would have to be the day I had today with Han where we had an early celebration of our wedding anniversary together.  We had lunch on the cottage verandah as Han explained the weather, the white fluffy stacks of cumulus clouds storing energy for the thunder storms which hit the South Island later in the day. Han correctly forecast the twister which hit Waikouaiiti later in the afternoon, and predicted hail as well, which hit the Christchurch area.  We are so fortunate to be able to see the sky, and read its moods from our home, and I loved hearing the thunder today before the torrential downpour which followed.  I love the rain pounding on the roof, especially when we are sitting in the spa, and as part of our precious day today, we sat in the warm swirling pool of water and enjoyed the torrents of rain pound the roof.

It is now Sunday night, the usual night on which I write to you, and it feels more comfortable being in this zone.  We now have our Brazilian students in Dunedin, a wonderful connection of cultures, since I met Claudia, the Brazilian owner of an English school in Brazil, in December last year, having communicated for almost every week over the past year.  It is amazing the power of the written word, and I credit our sustaining relationship with our mutual love of words.  I despair of a time when people do not communicate through the composition of carefully crafted words.  It is such a gift we give each other.

After seventeen years of marriage to Han, and having lived together for nineteen years, I feel that we are more in tune with each other than ever before.  We rejoice in the joy our children and grandchildren give us, and also relish the precious time we have with friends who share a meal with us here. 

Over the Christmas season, we travelled only once, and this was to our third daughter’s home in Hawea where we celebrated Christmas with not only Suny, Nathan, Indi and Seth, but also our first daughter Jo who was visiting with Andy, Mila, Arlo and Eli, and oldest son, Scott and Anna.  I know all these names are so confusing for you, but they are so much a part of my life now.  If I had been told twenty years ago that I was going to be part of such a large family, I would have been very surprised, but not overwhelmed. Although I came from a small nuclear family, and with a mother who did not like the idea of an extended family, I loved the idea of being part of a large extended family. I don’t know why this was as I had no experience of this at all.  However, when I met Han and his four children, it seemed a natural progression that we would live together, and although it was not always plain sailing, we weathered all the storms and I feel we are in calm waters.  That is, for the moment!  Han would say that life is never smooth when living with me, but I am really going to try hard to slow down and take each moment as the precious moment it is.  I read books which emphasise the value of living each moment, but I sometimes become carried away with the moment, and forget the lessons which I had learnt in the books!

Today, Sunday, Han and I walked along Allen’s beach with our newly made Brazilian friends, and remembered the amazing walk we had enjoyed yesterday on a similar beach.  We discovered a new approach to SandflyBay, and almost tripped over the many seals which were basking on the sand.  We are so lucky to have such wonderful wildlife on our doorstep.

Just a random comment, but I am just casually watching a programme on the incredible dedication of Emperor penguins towards raising their young, and it is remarkable how many days the fathers spend taking care of their babies.  Nine months the mothers and father spend together with their young, although not as parents together as they must go off in turns to hunt for food.  However, after this intense time together of raising their baby, the parents leave their young to return to the sea in summer to play.  The young are left to fend for themselves in the group in which they grew up, never to reconnect with their mother and father.  Instinct leads them into the water, not their parents’ teaching. For four years, they live as a group before they return to their birth place and repeat the cycle. It is an amazing story of parental dedication, and the ability to leave young in the knowledge that instinct will play its role to enable the young to survive to return to their origins.  I believe that this teaches us how important it is to lay a solid foundation for our children and then have the confidence to allow them to take the plunge to explore for themselves.

Tomorrow the school opens again, and I am really excited about it. I have come in regularly to water the peace plants which all have abundant white flowers, and I always take that as a good sign for the school. I hope you are feeling as positive.  I feel I have had a good break, though a short one, and feel energised for the year ahead.  I still have so many happy memories of these past two weeks.

When the weather was so hot after Christmas, I felt the harbour call me one day.  Han and I had been gardening, and then sat on the verandah of the cottage for a quiet chat as we listened to one of our favourite CDs playing in the cottage.  The view of the garden always calms us, and the sea always inspires us.  Having always joked with Han that I would have a swimming pool if we won Lotto, and Han’s reply being that I have my pool at the end of the road, in the form of the harbour, I decided that it was time for my annual dip in the cool sea.  Han walked down the road with me, and I bravely stripped off and dived into the “refreshing” water.  Once immersed in the water, like all good things one jumps into with good intent, I felt totally at peace with the environment. The water, so cold on arrival, wrapped me in its warmth as the outer layers were heated by the sun.

I am trying to be expressive as I watch one of New Zealand’s artists portray New Zealand’s scenery.  Dean Buchanan lives in the Waitakeres, surrounded by cabbage trees, and his paintings are filled with colour which emanate vibrant power.  How wonderful to be so expressive, using colour to express the nature which surrounds you!

I hope that you are able to express the way you feel, and feel satisfied with all you achieve this year.  I have made few resolutions this year, but really want to achieve them.  I hope you are able to reach the goals you have set for yourself. 

The garden is looking good, and I look forward to watching the changing colours as summer ends and autumn begins.  Make sure you come out and spend some time in our garden.  We love to share it with others. 

Just a little catch up on what is happening with the family at home:  Han is now full time high school counselor so he has more time to work on the house and garden before school starts at the end of the month.  Jan heads off to Australia on Saturday to play basketball, and Shahan seems happy in China after having to endure her first Christmas without the family around her.  I am sorry I didn’t write many Christmas cards this year, but I have resolved to write to people during the year.  I want to reconnect with friends living abroad whom I have neglected because I have been so busy. However, it is important to keep up the contact, and a letter is such a heart felt way to do so. 

I am now off to bed, although I have just remembered so many things I haven’t told you.  However, my sleep is important if I am to be on task tomorrow.  It is so easy to just sit here and ramble on for hours!!

Have a fabulous 2009, and please keep in touch.

Love

Sharron