Letter to Students 26 January 2009

Dear Reader

I so enjoy sitting writing to you on Sunday nights, but sometimes life just doesn’t go as one plans it! I used to be so good at sitting down and writing letters every Sunday as my weekly ritual some years ago! Surely, at that time, I also had evenings when life intervened, and I couldn’t sit down and write, but I really don’t remember now.  However, this past weekend was so busy that I literally didn’t have time to sit down and write to you.  I give you my sincere apology for not doing so, but as you know, my family is my first priority, followed by my friends, and it was my family followed by my friends, who called upon me this weekend.

At our staff meeting, we decided to meet any students who were over eighteen years of age and at a loose end on Friday nights, and have a drink at a local bar.  It was a glorious night, but most of the students were either  out of Dunedin, or busy, so Han and I only met with Amber and shared a couple of drinks and a chat.  I love Friday evening as it is the signaling of the home time to follow, and I love to savour this special time.  Last Friday, Karina had finished all her work by early afternoon, and I told her to go home early as she works so incredibly hard.  It is really hard to ever be on top of the administrative work, and when Karina asked if there was any work I could give her, I said to her that it was the perfect opportunity to leave work and join her gorgeous husband.  As an employer, I think it is so important to think of the needs of those who work with me first.  I remember, in another life, working in an environment when I did not feel affirmed, and I was so determined to rectify this situation when I had my own school.

Having my own school was a dream which first manifested itself when I worked in Alexandria, Egypt, the first teaching job I had in 1980.  I was so incredibly lucky to have been accepted into this dynamic teaching environment, and the director of that school has gone on to be one of the gurus of English language teaching.  When I read his books, I smile at how similar my teaching philosophy is to his.  This makes sense as Scott Thornbury had such a huge impact on me, and I can vividly remember the many lessons he taught me.  We lost touch many years ago, and only a few years ago did I make contact with him and hear of his teaching methodology which was so like mine.  I take no credit for my teaching style, but see it as an evolution of the excellent grounding Scott and other teachers at the school gave me.  I was such a young teacher and very impressionable. I give thanks, so often, for having been given the opportunity to work in Egypt, and be guided by such inspirational mentors.

I believe that we all need a mentor in our lives.  Is there anyone you consider to be your mentor? Han has worked with juvenile delinquents for many years, and he has become a mentor for special young people whose lives have been derailed by dysfunctional adults.  I have learnt so much from Han, and the teenagers with whom he worked.  I was extremely lucky to have been brought up by parents who loved me dearly and had a very strong work ethic.  Such love enabled me to have an inner confidence, and although my world came crashing down when I was fourteen years of age, I had been sufficiently grounded that I withstood the storm of instability which overshadowed my teenage years. So many people use the pains of childhood as a reason for all the woes that have beset them since that traumatic time, and don’t take responsibility for the actions of their present.  We all have some kind of difficulty in our lives, but we have to reach the point in our lives when we put this all behind us and move on.  Why wallow in the pain of the past, and what good will it bring?

My sister and I have always loved each other, but as very different personalities, we have not spent a huge amount of time together.  However, my father in his dying days, was insistent that we remain close, and Han promised Dad that he would make sure that we supported my sister.  Consequently, when Vicki said that she was moving into a new house, and needed support, Han and I immediately put up our hands, and spent Sunday moving her into her new home.  We worked all day, and although I am not strong, I am very determined and can lift whatever needs to be lifted. I was physically exhausted by early evening, but there was a heated spa waiting for us, and this soothed my aching muscles.  Later in the evening I helped clean my pantry as well, so I really felt that I had made the most of the day!

Wasn’t the weather amazing on Saturday?  I promised to help Han in the vegetable garden as it had got away on him over the past few weeks while he attended to the roses.  Han does nothing in halves, and when I said that I loved roses, he potted up dozens of cuttings, and we now have over ninety rose bushes in our garden!  In the heat, I helped to mow the lawns, and was delighted when our neighbour heard me yell when I overzealously mowed the grass too close to the pond, and almost lost the lawn mower in the pond!  Our neighbour was also finishing the mowing of his lawn, and he arrived over with cold bourbon and coke to drink under the rimu tree.  I told Han how I had always dreamed of sitting under that tree when Han was creating the garden, and it is wonderful when dreams come true!! On Saturday night, I spent the evening relaxing with good food, close friends, and good wine. We invited the neighbour who had been so “neighbourly,” and his wife for dinner as well as other friends who live around the road.  These two couples had not met each other, although they had lived in the same area for fifteen years.  They were people who, on the surface, looked as if they would have nothing in common, but as we sat out under the umbrella, conversation flowed and it was a wonderful evening. I am truly blessed, and I hope you are too.

Chinese New Year is such a special time in China with two hundred million people moving by train to get home to celebrate the happiest time of the year with their families. 

Shahan, our youngest daughter, is now working outside Shanghai, and she phoned us to wish us a happy New Year.  Shahan is such a honey, and I miss her terribly.  The year of the Rat, 2008, was a tough year for many people, and Shahan was one of those people for whom the year dealt several severe blows!  Apparently, this year of the ox is to be a much more positive year, and let’s hope the world can recover from the depression into which it has plunged.

Hu Chen, who was one of our former students and is now our Marketing Manager, comes from Tianjin in China, and was so looking forward to the New Year celebrations in Dunedin. Every year, for the last few years, the City Council has invested a lot of time, energy and money into making sure the city celebrates this festive occasion in the Octagon. This year, they chose the ChineseGarden as the venue, and it sounded perfect.  However, once they had chosen the venue, it seems they forgot that there needed to be food and entertainment, and the plaintive sound of a woman playing a traditional stringed instrument almost made Hu Chen cry.  Nowhere was there the joy of the occasion, and the fifteen students who had gone from school felt cheated out of their traditionally joyous occasion.  Hu Chen actually said that he did cry when he got home, having returned home before midnight as the fireworks went off earlier in the evening.  He felt so homesick, and it is at times like this that living in a foreign country really hurts.  I am sure the other students felt the same as they struggled with what to do after the quick tour of the ChineseGarden.  It may have been free to enter, but a walk around the small garden wasn’t enough in itself.  The dragon dance is going to be held on Tuesday night, but that could so easily have been on Sunday evening.  I must say that I felt embarrassed when I heard of the insensitivity shown to the Chinese community, and wondered who had organized the event this year.  Even the mayor, Peter Chin, was wearing a Scottish kilt on the evening, and not the traditional Chinese outfit he wore in other years!

What did you do this past weekend?  I got up early on Saturday as it was such a glorious day, and after walking around the garden, I took Jan into town as he is the dishwasher at our oldest daughter’s café.  I wasn’t in a rush, but I got behind a car which crawled along the road.  When the car in front passed this slow moving vehicle, I followed, only to see flashing lights in my rear view mirror! I was pulled over by a police woman who had been hiding in a side street, and she told me I was going 83 kilometres an hour in a 70 kilometre area.  I said that I was just following the car in front, but I realised that this was not going to get me off the ticket, and was a rather pathetic excuse for exceeding the speed limit!! I was so angry with myself as I had been so careful with my speed, having been a bit of a speed hog in my time!  Never mind.  I truly believe that we do have to watch our speed, and this was a timely reminder for me to take it easy all the time.  Part of my New Year resolution is to slow down, so I must stick to it!!

It is good to have our son, Jan, back home with us.  Last Tuesday, Han and I spent the day travelling up to Christchurch to pick him up, and had a quick lunch with my mother in law before returning to Dunedin.  He chatted away about his trip, and loved listening to his stories.  So often fifteen year old boys just grunt, and tend to be less communicative with adults, but Jan had learnt so much from his basketball tournament in Australia, that he really wanted to share it with us.  Having said that we are happy to have Jan back, he has actually left for Hawea today to spend a couple of days with our daughter Suny, and her family.  I love the fact that all seven of our children get along so well, and I know that Marcus finds it hard living outside London because of the fact that he is so far away from our close family.  We all worked hard to blend our family and it worked!

I feel, as always, that I have so much to tell you, and I have just remembered that I was going to continue a story from the last letter.  However, it has slipped my memory, so I will reread the letter and continue next time!  I have to write everything down in my diary as my memory is like a sieve.  Have a great week and enjoy this fabulous weather.  We are so incredibly lucky. 

Love

Sharron