Letter to Students 25 May 2009

Dear Reader

I am sitting up in bed, snug as a bug in a rug, writing to you and hoping you are not feeling down due to the grey skies and persistent rain. Hopefully, the sky will clear tomorrow, and we can feel the positive rays of the sun on our skin again.

Whenever the 25^th day of the month comes along, I always think of Christmas and how special a time it is.  However, it is still seven months away, and we have a lot of living to do till then!  Did you have any New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of January, which you wrote down in order to make them come true?  I do that every year, and I have felt proud that a couple of my goals have been achieved already.  However, these were related to the school, and I still have to work hard on my personal goals which I have set for myself!

I can’t believe how fast time is travelling, and visiting my daughter, Suny, and her family in Hawea has been a highlight of the month so far.  Leaving early evening on the Friday before last was a little later than I had hoped, but I took my time, and listened to music all the way. I loved watching the sun’s rays cast its gold upon the mountains, and the time passed quickly as I sang along to all my favourite Carpenter’s songs.  They are so amazingly maudlin, but they suited my mood, which wasn’t so much melancholic as reflective.  Travelling on my own is something I rarely do, and it was good to just take stock and reflect on the life I lead. 

I arrived in Hawea in the dark, and lost my way a couple of times as I had never travelled into the settlement in the dark.  All the lights of the beautiful stone house were on, welcoming me into the warmth after the rain and cold.  Suny and her partner, Nathan, were waiting for me along with my two grandchildren, Indi and Seth.  Seth is almost a year old, and is so adorable that you could “eat him all up,” to such an extent that Suny calls him Oishii, the Japanese word for delicious!  Suny confessed that she has never bonded with his given name of Seth, and would like to change it.  This she can do by deed poll, and I think she should change his name legally, as she felt pressured into choosing a name on his birth, believing she had to make the decision in a week.  Do you think that names are important?  My name, Sharron, is a very working class name, which people used to associate with occupations such as hairdressers.  I would never put down hairdressers as it is now a very respected profession, but when I was young, the name had a particular connotation which wasn’t that complimentary.  However, actors like Sharon Stone did a lot to change the image of the name, and many of the younger people I know who are called Sharon, are well respected professionals.  Do you know the meaning of your name?  My name is Hebrew, and comes from the Rose of Sharon which is very beautiful.  However, I never thought of calling my daughter after me, choosing names which meant more to me.  My oldest natural daughter is called Suny, named after a gracious older American woman whom I met when I was twenty years old.  This glamorous retired woman hosted my friend and me when we travelled around America on one of our Christmas holiday adventures.  I was immediately struck by the way Sunny welcomed us into her home, and offered us delicious food at her exquisitely set table.  She said that she always sat down to a carefully prepared meal, a glass of wine, and a lit candle.  Her real name was Margaret, but she had been nicknamed Sunny because of her vibrant personality. I decided at that time, that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her after this special woman, and I did!  However, my Suny has only one “n” in her name as the year I was pregnant was the year the Nissan Sunny cars were imported into New Zealand, and I didn’t want it to sound like I had named my daughter after a car!  Suny’s natural father is Japanese, and didn’t know how to spell well in English, so he just added a “y” to sun. Simple!  What is your favourite name?

I am now writing on Thursday afternoon, having found my evenings taken up with other activities, leaving me no time to write.  I am looking forward to going back up to Hawea this weekend, and I hope that there will not be the deluge of rain as there was two weeks ago.  The lawns had been turned into ponds, and it would be wonderful to sit outside in the fresh clear air and enjoy the warmth of the winter sun.

Last weekend, I had offered to cat sit for a friend who travels often to Christchurch to support her friend who has cancer.  I don’t think that cancer is more prevalent than in the past, but it is natural that as one gets older, one knows more people who are afflicted with terminal illness.  I thank my lucky stars each day for my good health, and never take a single day of feeling well for granted.  I am delighted that my daughter, Nicky, is set to make a full recovery from the paralysis which ravaged her body three weeks ago, and it is a further reminder that we must not take anyone, or anything, for granted!

Looking after two kittens for my friend has reinforced my belief that I do not need animals in my life, as cute as little kittens can be.  Strangely, animals seem to like me, and perhaps they see me as a challenge they have to win over! I think looking after animals is wonderful for children so that they further develop their nurturing bonds, and an animal is a fabulous companion for the elderly.  My dear adopted grandmother had developed serious diabetes after her old dog died, and it was only when Han bought her a young puppy that her diabetes gradually disappeared, and she became the positive person she had always been.

The only animals which should not become pets are wild animals, and the mauling of a zoo keeper yesterday, in a private wildlife sanctuary, is a grim reminder of the unpredictability of big predators who, although they may have been hand raised and kept in captivity, are still capable of fatally mauling those who risk their lives by getting into close proximity to them. 

I am now going to visit my mother who lives in a retirement home where she is so well cared for.  It is an excellent facility, and my mother enjoys being in the environment which has lounges more like those in a hotel than in an old people’s home. Some homes for the elderly smell of boiled cabbage, and all the residents sit in chairs around the outside walls of a room and wait for death to come and release them.  For me, it is not living, but merely existing, with no quality of life at all.  Ironically, because all their physical needs are met, these elderly bodies are able to outlive their mental faculties, and days are spent in a world of inner thoughts, if they are lucky, or a vacuum where the past has been erased through dementia.  I hope and pray that I will be taken before this happens to me.  To be robbed of my ability to think and express myself would be hell on earth.

However, enough of such maudlin thoughts!  I am feeling very positive, and full of the joys of living.  I make sure I visit all my children in Dunedin regularly, and last week babysat my three grandchildren who live in Belleknowes while Jo went and played basketball, and Andy was working.  It was an evening when the wind howled and the rain pelted down, but it was snug and warm in their house, and the children went off to bed as soon as it was 8:30.  They reminded me of our own children who never complained about going to bed, but hopped in to bed to have a story read, and then happily snuggled down for a good night’s sleep.  Such children never have problems waking up in the morning, and I am a firm believer that children respond well to rules which are fair and consistent.

I hope you have a wonderful long weekend, and make the most of the extra holiday we have on Monday. Although it is not the actual birthday of the Queen, it is a good excuse to have a day off.  Any excuse will do!  Actually, I so love coming to work that I don’t crave an extra day off, but it is good to take time to recharge our depleted batteries sometimes!

Love

Sharron