Letter to Students 01 September 2009

Dear Reader

“A pinch and a punch for the first of the month, no returns! “ is the wakeup greeting I called out to Shahan at five o’clock this morning!  Shahan and I had both had dinner with my aunt and uncle from Australia last night, and it was good to spend the latter part of the evening with Shahan at home.  Jan had gone to stay at a friend’s home as he was leaving at first light today to represent his school in the South Island tournament in Nelson.  I can’t believe it is the beginning of yet another month.  The year is passing by so quickly, but I do love the spring and walking around the garden as it awakes to the warmth of each new day.

I am sitting in the departure lounge, waiting for my flight to be called for Sydney.  Usually, it is an arduous wait when I have hours to “kill,” (I hate that expression as I feel time is too precious to kill it!) but this time the four hours passed quickly as I spent the time in the Koru lounge, the international lounge for VIP guests.  I have never subscribed to this kind of elitism, but with deciding to do more travel, and needing to have access to the internet, I thought it was a good investment of airpoints.  My egalitarian ethos is being compromised, but after years of working hard, what is wrong with enjoying the fruits of my labours?  I have the vestiges of frugal Presbyterianism which creates guilt in me at times.  My poor old father worked all his life, and never really enjoyed the rewards of years of toil.  My father and mother divorced when my father was seventy years old, and it was devastating for my father who never really recovered from feeling he had never been truly fulfilled in loved.  He was filled with misgivings, and huge regret, and I am determined this is not going to happen to me.

As I write, I am watching a Japanese movie, and I love listening to the Japanese language again.  The Japanese houses are so beautiful, and I hope I can live in one in the future.  The world is my oyster, as it is for us all.  I have to make the most of the opportunities presented to me, as well as creating opportunities for myself.  I am taking this time away from New Zealand as a time for reflection, although my eighteen year old daughter Shahan said that I shouldn’t think too much, but just enjoy myself.  Shahan is so wise, and we have become very close friends as she enters adulthood, treating each other as equals and supporting each other.  I am indeed blessed!

The plane is half full, or half empty, depending on whether you are an optimist or pessimist!  I like to think that I am an optimist, and work hard at being positive.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to work so hard at seeing the glass half full!

The Japanese movie I watched was called “April Bride,” the story centring on a couple who overcame extreme odds to make their dream come true.  Although they finally got married, the bride was already terminally ill, and died the day after her wedding.  It was a very sensitively portrayed movie about a woman who was diagnosed with cancer, and although I always cry when there are movies which involve people dying, tears rolled down my cheeks not for the death, but for the song which was sung at the wedding. The Rose was the song the children sang at Han’s and my wedding, and I recall that day so vividly every time I hear those lyrics.  In fact, we had no music planned for our wedding , except for a flautist who played as guests arrived, because Han and I got married in a friend’s garden. However, when Han’s brother proposed a toast to “Han and Anna,” Han’s previous wife, the “best person” burst into singing the Rose, accompanied by our children, as a way of detracting attention away from the blunder!  The best person, usually best man, was Han’s best female friend when he lived in Thames, a wonderful midwife who was a dear friend of the family.  Han’s brother ended up being told to do the dishes by his wife as punishment, and they later divorced, although not because of this incident, I am sure!

There is a wonderfully flamboyant flight attendant, who has been extremely attentive, and I shared with him the fact that I was heading off on holiday, having had a tough six months.  He confided in me that he had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, although the prognosis was good. I feel that flying the airwaves is a good way to share problems, and hopefully process confused thoughts.  Listening to Japanese for the past two hours was enriching for me, and it made me think, yet again, how close I feel to that culture.  It is a very strange affinity for me, a girl from a working-class background who had never experienced any foreign culture as a child, except the eating of Chinese food cooked by my mother.  Mum liked to experiment with recipes given by her sister in Australia, and her speciality was a dish of sweet and sour chicken and almonds, which seemed so exotic as a child! Mum gave us chopsticks at the same time, and I was totally intrigued to the point where I decided to use them all the time!  Although I didn’t use chopsticks when I lived in London and Egypt, I have used them ever since I lived in Japan.

The plane is now descending, and I think I will close this epistle for now.  I have had a very relaxing day, and feel that it is important to have decided to take this time out.  I can’t believe that I have already cried over the song sung at our wedding, but that no doubt taps into the feelings of sadness at the closure of my marriage.  The death, in April Bride, of the young bride to secondary cancer, taken well before her time, taps into the loss of my sister at 50 years of age, and the love lavished on her by her partner also reminds me of the wonderful times I had with Han.

However, it is now time to move on with no regrets, but positively focused, knowing that my future life depends on how I live each present day.  I look forward to landing on Australian soil, and spending a few days in the land of the kangaroo and koala, not that I expect to see any!

Love

Sharron