Letter to Students 29 May 2007

Dear Reader

Words can scramble when thoughts are caught in a web of woven worry!

………

I wrote the above at the end of a busy day, and I am now sitting in front of the television, having enjoyed a delicious meal prepared with fresh vegetables from Han’s garden.  I enjoy nothing better than going down to the garden after work, and picking vegetables fresh out of the garden for dinner.  We seem to have enough vegetables to feed an army, but we have such a large family that we make use of it all. When I was on my own in my little cottage in BroadBay, I used to dream of having a garden from which I could feed my family. I also dreamed of being able to make pottery, and make my own dinner set so that I could serve my freshly grown vegetables on my own individually crafted plates.  This has not happened yet, and mainly because I have had other priorities, but watch this space.  It will happen!  What dreams do you have? 

It seems only yesterday that I bought my wee cottage in BroadBay, a run down crib which was painted blue throughout, and had an overgrown garden which hid a multitude of treasures.  With the help of my parents and friends, I pulled out the grass on the banks to reveal stoned terraces with beautiful plants.  I hired a skip, and we managed to fill it in no time at all with all the weeds and rubbish from this forgotten cottage.  The cottage had originally been a fisherman’s cottage, but had been bought by an old lady who had created a stunning garden.  However, the garden was soon neglected by the next owners, and by the time I bought the house, there was no sign of a garden.  I fell in love with this small house on my return from Japan with my one year old daughter, and I was able to buy it as it only cost $18,000.  In those days, there was no sewerage system or town water supply so the rates were really low, only $99 a year.  I laugh now as I recall the toilet which was a bucket, and I used to have to carefully carry my bucket across the living room, and tip it into the hole which I had dug into the ground in the backyard.  I had spent hours stripping back the paint from the window frames which allowed the windows to open for the first time in years, and I ripped up the carpets to reveal beautiful wooden floors which I sanded with my father.  The house was built in a small bay, and my Asian friends told me that this was good “feng shui” as the bay allowed money to flow in.  Han gets very angry if I mention feng shui as he sees it a groundless superstition.  What are your views on the importance of placing a house and placing the features within a house? Do you know much about feng shui?  If you know me well, you will know that money is not a driving force for me.  My energy wells from within to give to my family, my friends and now to my students in the hope that everyone will feel positive and we can gain benefit from each other.   What drives you in this life?

As I write now, I am watching television, and in particular Dancing with the Stars is on.  We had to watch Close Up tonight as our ninety three year old teacher and his eighty  two year old wife were on television with their young eleven year old students who have a passion for dancing.  It is true to say that Sid and Dot have been teaching dancing without a break for over sixty years, and they are a wonderful testimony to the power of dancing.  Sid is still as strong as an ox, and Dot still wears makeup and never forgets a step when she is teaching.  She is my role model in many ways!  It was wonderful that the focus of this news item was on the hard time that is dealt out to young boys who want to dance.  There is so much prejudice against boys dancing, and I think it is such a shame as dancing is such a wonderful way to improve not only coordination but also increase fitness.  On Dancing with the Stars, there have been top athletes who have said that ballroom dancing gives them the perfect workout.  Watching the men on this programme, there is no way that they are “fairies.” They have such physical power and sexual energy.  Have you ever done ballroom dancing?  Is it popular in your country?  I believe it is very popular in Taiwan where older people dance in the public squares.  I really love dancing, and just wish that there were good venues where we could dance.  My parents met at a Town Hall dance, and Sid and Dot talk with nostalgia about the many dancing places at which they used to dance.  I love talking with them about the wonderful city which was Dunedin in the 1950s and 1960s.  Did you know that there were thirteen department stores in the early 1900s, and that the sterile street which runs beside the Warehouse used to be the Broadway Mall, a glorious building with a glass dome?  Isn’t it scandalous that it was torn down in the name of modernization?  The only thing that Dunedin can be thankful for is that we suffered a depression, and therefore not all the buildings were sacrifised in the name of progress! If you see ugly empty spaces in the inner city, there was once a beautiful building that collapsed under the pen of a bureaucrat.  It makes me so cross.  Do you know that I believe I was born out of my time?  I would so have loved to have lived in the time when advanced technology was the dial telephone, and telegrammes still created a thrill.  I would have loved to have lived when trams still dominated the roads, and people dressed up to go to town.  I love hats, and gloves, and the idea that letters were delivered to post boxes and opened with care.  I still insist on sitting at the table for each meal, and lighting a candle as a sign of respect. There is now a “slow eating” movement which began in Italy, I believe, that stresses the importance of taking time over eating our meals, and heartily agree with this.  However, where have we gone so wrong that this isn’t taken for granted?  Do you think it is important to take time over eating?  Where do you have your evening meal?

It is already Tuesday evening, but I wonder what you did this past weekend.  Late on Friday, with my Dunedin Otaru Sister City Society president hat on, I was part of a panel which chose five young people who are going on an International Youth Exchange to Japan in August.  I love interviewing positive young people who have a goal in life.  I was impressed with the quality of the applicants, and I feel that our society is in good heart when I meet such impressive young people.  Sometimes, there is so much attention paid to the juvenile delinquents in our society that we lose perspective, and tar all young people with the same brush.  I must admit that I had had nothing to do with juvenile delinquency until Han ran an alternative school for young people with severe behaviour problems.  Whereas before I had tended to blame the young offenders for their outrageous behaviour, I soon learnt that it was the parents who needed to shoulder the blame which they so often sidestepped.  What do you do in your country with juvenile delinquents?  We have a few good alternative schools in the country for our troubled youths, but it seems that too often the schools are left to bear the burden, under resourced, and struggling to keep them in the system. 

On Saturday, I watched Jan play football as usual, while Han picked up a huge chipper with which to get rid of the huge piles of clippings which Han had cut down from the hedge between the our two properties.  The family came out to help, but Han was disappointed as they couldn’t power through the amount of work they had hoped as the engine didn’t meet their expectations. Isn’t it true that happiness is measured by your degree of expectation?  Shahan, my sixteen year old daughter, wrote a message on my screen saver which said, “happiness is equal to our level of expectation.”

Speaking of Shahan reminds me that our daughter is now in Japan, and is having a wonderful time at school in Nagano, west of Tokyo.  Unfortunately, she is not getting on well with her home stay family, and for an experience to be a good one, you need to feel that you are included in the family to feel a part of the society. Shahan said last night that she feels “invisible” to her family, and although she chose Japan as she wanted to experience the culture which so fascinates me and her older sister Suny, she wonders if, at this stage, she has bitten off more than she can  chew.  Because Shahan was studying both German and Japanese, she could have chosen Germany as the country in which to have her six month experience, and it certainly would have been a much less challenging experience for her.  However, Shahan is a chip off the old block, (well my block!) and she chose the most adventurous path.  At three o’clock this morning, I was up talking with Han who was lamenting the fact that I am so “international.” He said that if I hadn’t been so internationally focused, Shahan wouldn’t have gone away, and we would be dealing with the usual problems one has with a sixteen year old young adult!  I have huge faith in Shahan, and if she weren’t the positively focused girl I know she is, she wouldn’t have opted to go on this exchange.  All will be well, and I truly believe that we must have faith in our decisions.  I had a poster on my wall as a teenager which said, “Once a decision is made, stick by it, as the moment of absolute certainty never arrives.”

The end of Dancing of the Stars is now on and they are all talking of the “journey” they have all gone on.  “If we hadn’t been a part of this competition, I wouldn’t have learnt so much about myself,” is a common theme which runs through the views of the contestants.  Han and I dance every Monday night, but we still have a long “journey” to travel till we can dance well!  They have just announced that Suzanne Paul has just won.  This woman is a wonderful example of what can be done with the incredible power to win.  Han and I didn’t think that Suzanne was the better dancer, and she seems so cool to me. However, she had a steely desire to win, in the same way as she works in her business dealings.  Suzanne Paul arrived in New Zealand with nothing, and became a millionaire through selling a makeup brand called “Natural Glow.”  However, she over extended herself in another business venture and went bankrupt.  This was a very public bankruptcy, but she has pledged to repay all her creditors.  She made mention of this commitment on the show, and we felt that it was all a little too calculating. 

It is now time for me to go to bed, but I want to tell you about our trip to Cromwell and Hawea to see our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter, and celebrate the beginning of the building of their house.  Our son-in-law is a stone mason, and his new way of working with stone is really exciting.  I am too tired to explain how the walls are built, but I will explain when we meet in person.  You know how hard it is to write your thoughts down when you are so tired!  This is a good reminder that if you are sitting IELTS, you must feel energised and brain fit for the exam.  Make sure you are well rested and able to spend the day fully focused so that you give it your best.  I know you will do well, and I give you all my positive energy!

Love

Sharron