7 Ryan Street
Portobello
11th July, 2010
Dear readers
It is Sunday evening, and this is the first time I am sitting in front of a movie writing to you, for ever so long. I used to write every Sunday night when I was married to Han as he loved to watch television, and I would sit beside him with my computer on my lap. Since our separation, I have had so many thoughts in my mind, but seem unable to commit them to paper. I have decided that today is the day I begin writing again, and I feel excited. I feel that writing is so much a part of my life, and without it, I am not complete. Wherever I am, I create words on a page, and want to write them down immediately. However, somehow the moment is lost, and I move on to new experiences, perhaps erased from my memory through not taking the time to write.
Where should I begin this letter? Should I talk about my wonderful family and the amazing times we have spent lately, about my thoughts on life, or current affairs? I think I will just ramble as I always do, and see what words flow onto the page. Isn’t it amazing how we think, then transfer these thoughts into words which we then transpose onto the page? This has always fascinated me.
I will begin with what is happening right now, and then work backwards, digressing on the way, as the whim takes me. Uncharacteristically, I am watching a film called the French Lieutenant’s Woman, and before that, I watched Forget Paris, a DVD I have had for many years but never watched. This afternoon, Shahan put on a music DVD which she had bought for me as a memory of the wonderful evening we spent in Christchurch, listening to the Carole King and James Taylor concert. For my birthday, I had treated myself to a ticket to the concert of my favourite singers, and Shahan said that she would accompany me to Christchurch, as I was going to stay with old friends of ours. On the way in the car, Shahan declared that she would have loved for me to have bought her a ticket, and I was surprised at how much she wanted to go and see my favourite singers. I was delighted, and then over the moon when I discovered that there was one remaining seat, one of the best seats in the house, and it was a third of the price I had paid for my seat, which was much further back. We were both elated that we both could go, and the concert was all the more special, knowing that Shahan was in the audience, and we still talk about that special evening. Last week, Shahan, in her typically generous way, bought me the DVD of the first concert Carol King and James Taylor had performed together, after perhaps over thirty years apart, in the Troubadour Club, the venue of their very first concert together. The songs were the same we heard, and this concert was the precursor to the world wide tour which brought them to New Zealand. Carole King was my favourite singer when I was a teenager, and I carried her cassettes with me around the world. I remember listening to Carole King when I was in Egypt, and vividly remember listening to one particular song when I was waiting for my boyfriend to arrive from London. Her music really spoke to me, and when I was in Japan, I again listened to it when I was on my own with my daughter, Suny. In recent times, after my separation from Han, I again dug deep into my collection and began playing Carole King again. It was then with great delight that I found out that she was coming to New Zealand with James Taylor. Three years ago, “In my living room” was the concert Carole King brought to New Zealand, and she sang songs as if sitting in her living room with friends. Han and I went up to Christchurch for the concert and I sat enthralled. Do you know Carole King? She is a prolific songwriter, and has written songs for so many of the great singers in the western world over the past forty years. Every night, I wind the volume up on the CDs of my favourite singers, sit on the verandah and look out to sea. It is one of my favourite pastimes. What ways do you enjoy spending your free time?
Last week, I spent every evening with either Jan, Shahan, or all the family. Last Sunday, all the children and grandchildren gathered at my oldest son’s home, to celebrate my second daughter’s birthday, and also to welcome my third daughter down from Hawea, who came to show us Lucan, the latest addition to our family, a nine week old baby boy. I reciprocated the hospitality with dinner at my cottage the following Tuesday, and then every evening I was either with Suny and my grandchildren, or with my son, Jan, or Shahan. Jan treated me to our favourite Japanese restaurant one night, after we had had dinner at the cottage the day before, and I took Shahan to dinner last Saturday night, after having been to my yoga class.
Bikram yoga has felt like a form of salvation for me. Have you heard of it? It is a form of yoga that is done in 38degree heat, which heats your body to such an extent that you can feel the sweat dripping off your body, which allows you to stretch more easily. It is one and a half hours of intense concentration, and I find this focusing on the moment a wonderful teaching tool for life. I have to concentrate through this intensity, and through surviving this ordeal, I feel more able to deal with the trials and tribulations which life deals up to me. Although it takes a lot of time out of my busy day, I find it worth every moment.
Through spending time alone, I have found that I enjoy having quiet time on my own, something that I never had the luxury to do, probably ever in my life. Last night, when I knew that many Kiwis had met their friends to watch the rugby, I decided to light the fire, pull up the couch so that I could watch the rugby test between the All Blacks and the Springboks, and poured myself a glass of wine. The house was toasty warm, and I felt very much at peace. I had awoken leisurely earlier in the day, and spent the late morning in the garden, the warmth of the sun on my back. After buying a heater for the studio, which I am having built for my sun, and after my yoga endurance, I felt very much at peace within my own skin. It was after such a day that I created a warm nest within which to watch the rugby test, which promised to be extremely exciting. The All Blacks had never lost on Eden Park, but they were playing the last World Cup champions, who were determined to even the score. New Zealanders have never forgiven the South Africans for giving the All Blacks food poisoning the evening before the 1995 World Cup, and although it sounds like sour grapes, all New Zealanders believe this to be the reason why the All Blacks lost that day. It was therefore with great delight to see the All Blacks overwhelm the Springboks with their superior skills. From what I have written, you no doubt think that I watched the game from the comfort of my own home, having decided that it was possible to watch the game on my own, and actually looking forward to it. It was therefore a great surprise to get a call from Han, my ex-husband, who invited me to watch the game on his big entertainment system, which we had bought just before we separated. It was strange being back in my old house with Han and Jan, and although Jan felt extremely uncomfortable, as we had not been together for such a long time, I actually had an enjoyable evening, focusing on the excitement of the game, and sharing running commentary with the family. So much has changed, but I am pleased that after all the acrimony, we seem able to be cordial to each other. I think the children fear that I may weaken and return to the life I had with Han, but I believe that we have both moved on, and there are always good reasons why things happen to us in life. I am enjoying the opening pages of this new chapter in my life, and looking forward to turning over a new page. There is the idiom ‘turning over a new leaf,” and I think that I have done that as well!
As I write, I can hear the spa heating, and I look forward to hopping into it before going to bed. I love spas, and I particularly like the fact that mine is outside, as cold as it is. It keeps me in touch with the elements, and at sunset, I had a spa with Shahan, and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the vivid red glowing over the trees on the distant hills. The shimmering cloud seemed to be cut with a knife’s edge, buffered up against the receding red, and I remembered the many evenings when I sat under the stars and looked across the harbour, framed by the cabbage trees.
When away in China and Hong Kong last month, I wrote a diary of my thoughts, but again didn’t write them down on my laptop. When I spend time in Asia I always feel so alive. There is such an energy which I find infectious. The smells, the positive energy of a people who live in such cramped surroundings, the eclectic range of exquisitely prepared food all combine to tingle my senses. The people with whom I travelled, and met, were all driven by ambition, and a desire for everyone to join in their same success. I felt very blessed to have gone on the delegation, and I have so many happy memories of the time spent in Shanghai, Guangzhou and Hong Kong. Today, in the Sunday Times, I saw a report on the World Expo in Shanghai, and they reported on the exquisite food which was served at the New Zealand pavilion. As I read the description, I was immediately transported back the day when I was also treated to the glorious food served at this showcase of New Zealand excellence, and thought how amazing it was that I had been part of one of those days.
The movie has just finished, and what a fabulous movie it was. I really only see movies on aeroplanes, and so it was good to take the time to watch one in my home. I get so involved in the movie for the time it is playing, but like books, soon forget the details of the plot. It must be part of my short term memory loss that seems to plague me more and more. I put it down to my hard drive memory being too full!
However, I remember that I do have a wonderful school, amazing staff and incredible students, and I look forward to being part of that big family again tomorrow. I hope you are ready for another week of study, and may you find the desire to write, as I have.
Love
Sharron
